Hi everyone. Finally have some time to sit down and connect.

This has been a challenging week, coming off of a quick trip to Minnesota to connect with other autistic kiddo mommas overnight, and coming home to my 4yo kiddo having Croup.

Autistic people get sick just like anyone else, but everything seems amplified. Amplification all the more when you think of all of the senses. Sleep cycles for Autistic individuals can be a continuous battle and amplified when sick. Sensitivity to light. Evan and medication taken for sickness: Evan has not been able to hold down liquid meds and the med cannot typically have a taste-we believe sensory-related. We have to “hid” his seizure medication and thus also find kiddo meds that don’t have a taste-hard to do!

For my Evan, he has a lot of auditory challenges, sudden surprising sounds can lead to meltdown. We bring sound-proof headphones, along with his emergency seizures meds and sunglasses (for light sensitivity), wherever we go. Sensory “meltdowns” are different than “tantrums.” Becoming completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily losing control over their behavior, Autistic people do not necessarily “grow out” of these sensory processing meltdowns. He is not being “defiant” (which sometimes people, including schools can say). These days, since he is a little older and we have learned some coping strategies, meltdowns can include long crying, irritability, constant moving, perseverating on certain wants (that feel like desperate needs to him at the time), unable to communicating or withdrawing into himself, hitting, biting, etc. Most the time, we are able to reduce the risk of these meltdowns with knowing what causes the meltdowns and helping with the “build up” (not happening before it is harder to help bring down the heighted state). We are continually learning new strategies to help with coping, many times physical input and swinging help (movement). We know to put on headphones for-sure if we are grinding coffee in the morning (picture below was of this), vacuuming, using machines, windshield wipers, or going to stores, etc. It is honestly incredible how Evan has adapted, that he loves to use the machines (vacuums, mowers, etc.) while wearing the headphones. It’s like he just realizes this (headphones) is something that he needs to function the best that he can daily. We have also taught him it’s okay to take “breaks” and he will verb this now a lot of times, opting to go back to his room or outside. Sometimes we have to gauge for him and remind him of his options.

Evan hasn’t needed headphones in order to do music class for months now, needing them continuously when he first started around age 1. He used to meltdown getting to his developmental pre-k class when kids would be playing recess outside. The echoes of the balls bouncing and kids happily “squealing” did not seem to make sense to him. He just cried and cried. This was for 4 months. I still remember a time on a playground where he went to the very top of the playset, heard another child happily squeal, his arms flailing out and falling right off the playset (thank God I was right under him and caught him). Now, Evan is able to come to school, and by bus! Buses have lots of sounds that he has had to get used to. Lots of covering his ears and/or using his headphones. This is incredible adapting! So proud of him! Headphones are a wonderful tool AND (as Temple Grandin says) wearing them too often can make your child more sensitive to sound, so it’s a balance. Letting kids “control” the sound really helps in allowing them to adapt, for instance, vacuuming himself or letting him control the amount of time at the supermarket (we never go during peak times or weekends for most activities). We have also had Evan hear the sounds (by recording or in a video) so that he can control putting the sound on/off and gradually increase the volume. Essentially, he has the control. It is not a surprise sound. Because actually, Evan can enjoy certain louder noises and for sure vibrations that come from them, as long as they are not a surprise.

So if you see a child or an adult in a store or out in the community, and they have headphones on or might be pacing, think of my Evan. Think how incredible they are to be trying to process what he happening to them, when they are experiencing those senses so much more. Please don’t stare but please feel free to ask questions when the time is right. Ask the Autistic person. Sometimes people don’t talk to them, but only to their caregiver, which makes them feel even more different. People communicate in different ways, so whether verbal or not, they could still communicate.

Thank you for being here!